If you are going through a divorce, you are no stranger to the advice of loved ones who mean well, but ultimately may not know what is best for you and your unique situation.
Your family and friends, after all, only want the best for you. They are on your side one hundred percent, which although reassuring, may make their opinions slightly bias. In the initial pain of divorce, having an aggressive cheerleader in your corner may be comforting. They may be the ones in your ear telling you to take extreme measures – kick him out, take him to court, get full custody, etc. These are often words meant as encouragement to get you through a difficult time, but in most scenarios they are excessive means which will only cause further conflict down the road, especially where there are children involved.
Now, sometimes these words of wisdom may come from someone who has been in your shoes – the shoes of someone on the precipice of divorce, contemplating their options given their individual circumstances. Maybe their particular situation called for such aggressive measures (after all, unfortunately, some do) – yet, divorce is not a one-size-fits-all problem.
More often than not, divorce is a painful time for all involved, and one that should be handled carefully and amicably, if that is at all possible. It may be easy to get mad, to let the anger take center stage. Anger is easier to process than hurt, it’s a more comfortable emotion. Getting angry might make the early stages of divorce more palatable, but it will only make things more difficult in the long run. If there are children involved, this can be increasingly important, as you will want to make the transition as comfortable and harmonious as possible for them.
It is important to remember that friends and family love you, want the best for you and want to see you happy above all else – but sometimes they can become biased, whether based on their love for you or their own personal experiences with divorce. Ultimately, you know what is best for your own situation. Consulting an objective third party can also be an important sounding board.
If you are facing a divorce and want to explore your options, contact Fields and Dennis for a confidential consultation. We know that your situation is unique, and we are experienced in handling divorce matters in ways that are tailor made for the needs of each individual. With experienced and compassionate divorce attorneys well-versed in collaborative law, mediation and litigation, we can help you decide what is the best course of action for you – after all, that is the person whose opinion should matter most.