Being OK with Yourself After Divorce

After divorce, women often find themselves on an emotional roller coaster. The relationship they thought was going to last forever has ended, and perhaps there are children involved. How should a woman cope with all this stress and then make good relationship decisions for her future? As many experts recommend, it comes down to finding oneself. In other words, if you’re not OK with yourself, you won’t be OK in another relationship and especially in a second marriage.

Women must tackle deep issues that have affected the breakup of their marriage, and these issues may be unpleasant to explore. As clinic psychologist and relationship coach Kristin M. Davin suggests, a newly divorced woman should carve out time and space to gain clarity. A hiatus from dating is often a good idea. For instance, much like Elizabeth Gilbert in her memoir Eat, Pray, Love, women travel to discover themselves again. They find themselves through different experiences, food, and cultures. Perhaps traveling is not possible and not in the cards, and if so, there is self-discovery in other ways. Marti Noxon, creator and producer of the television show the Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce, says she started taking midnight walks to clear her head. At this stage of her life, at 50 years of age, she is just dating for the first time in her life, instead of being tied down in a relationship. And the feeling is liberating.

Grieving, according to Davin, is another major part of the process. A woman must grieve her marriage and the loss of it. If she has children, she must grieve the loss of a family unit with a mother and spouse living in a single household. This step can be difficult for women. Some women, much like Gilbert notes in her memoir, have been in relationships since they were teenagers. This time alone can be a scary prospect. However, as Davin suggests, it’s good to embrace this time of self-discovery and engage in the process. Oftentimes, she notes, women who do this come out stronger, more empowered, centered, and smarter in decision-making.

50.2% of Americans are single, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And this is OK. As long as a woman can be OK with being single, she is on her way to healing and self-discovery. To be alone is not a negative thing; it can actually be positive. For example, one woman started a blog called The Breakup List, where she has conquered 200 goals on her bucket list in just over a year. And she’s doing it…by herself.

At Fields and Dennis, we are happy to help women with the divorce process. We understand that you want the best for your family and for yourself. Please contact us today if you are a woman who is looking for a trusted and experienced Massachusetts divorce lawyer.

Based on this Huffpost article: